Stop! Don't touch me there
by ChibiSoulReader
Summary: Just a list of 50 things hetalia characters are not allowed to do for there will be severe punishment  crack-ish
1. Dear god, What France can't do

a/n: I love these and want to share!

*France*

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><p>France laughed as he recalled what the police told him he could and couldn't do or he'd be arrested...again<p>

1. I am not allowed to walk out of my house naked

2. Getting the mail while naked is also forbidden

3. a jog around the neighborhood, while naked, is forbidden

4. stopping at a café in the nude isn't allowed

5.I can only be naked in the shower

6.A rose thong is not clothing

7. are not clothes

8. Roses can be worn with clothes not without

9. Stripping outside is not allowed

10. The excuse "It's too hot out here" is not a good one

11. I can only strip if my clothes are on fire.

12. They should burn for more than 1 second

13. Being singed or slightly scorched does not count as burning

14. Sending erotic pictures of myself as get well cards is now illegal in 54 nations and 3 micro nations

15. And are not allowed

16. Sending pictures of me in sexy poses is forbidden

17. Sending erotic birthday cakes of myself is not allowed

18. I can send regular cakes though

19. Hitting on England is taboo

20. Even if he wants' me

21. Explaining what 'sex is' to Italy is not allowed

22. Using visual images to explain what sex is, is also not allowed

23. Explaining what 'sexual intercourse is' to anyone in general is not allowed

24. I am not allowed to talk about sex

25. Or my sexual encounters

26. To anyone

27. Winking at other nations during the world meeting is forbidden

28. Making kissy faces to other nations is also forbidden

29. Telling Italy sex is reparation for war is forbidden

30. I am not allowed to be on the street past 12am

31. Pretending to be a prostitute is not allowed

32. Going to Netherlands for prostitutes is not allowed

33. I can use sex chat lines

34. However I cannot call myself IfeeluTower

35. I am not allowed to hit on girls at the world meeting

36. Especially not Seychelles

37. Or Hungary

38. Or Ukraine

39. And especially not Wy

40. Hitting on the males is also not allowed

41. Giving other nations fashion advice is forbidden

42. Even if Germany really need is

43. I cannot argue that I have the best hair

44. Talking about Napoleon to any European nation is not allowed

45. Claiming French is the language of love is not allowed

46. Even if it is

47. Asking for condoms is not allowed

48. Especially while at the world meeting

49. Or while visiting another nations

50. Everyone knows I carry my own

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><p>.<p>

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(an: lol I want to try making more of these…I'm so silly~ tilde)


	2. Stopping Prussia

*Prussia*

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><p>In the basement of his brothers house, doing nothing from lack of porn, Prussia looked up from the bed &amp; saw the new list of rules Germany had nailed to the back of his door, he read it to himself out of boredom.<p>

1. You are not allowed to say the word 'awesome' more than 40 times a day_…not Awesome_

2. If you do, you can't say 'awesome' for a week_…fuck you west, that is very un awesome_

3. Adding -ness, -sauce , -tomic, -ly or any other absurd ending to awesome also counts_…un awesome-ist list ever_

4. You cannot stay out all night on weekdays drinking _…pftt this one makes me laugh _

5. Even if the drinks are on someone else, You have responsibilities _….like what? Does xnation mean anything?_

6. You can't leave the house for just happy hour alone, you have to do something productive to_…Sure West_

7. Cleaning the shit that Gilbird drops is your job, not Italy's.

8. Who cares if it's small shit, shit is shit, clean it up or get rid of the bird_….Gilbird shits?_

9. Refusing to do yard work because you are an Albino will not suffice_…Well I guess you want me to get skin cancer…and die._

10. You can rake the leaves or clean /something/ at night _…yeah because I'll fucking do that over drinking at night._

11. Harassing Austria is not allowed_…Like hell it isn't_

12. Hiding his piano is also not allowed_…pfttt oh West, you're so funny_

13. Every time Hungary breaks down the front door looking for you, you have to buy me a new one

14. Refusal to buy a new door, will result in your own doors being used as replacements

15. Which means less to private time for you_…that's where the bathroom door went_

16. Hanging out with France and Spain is okay

17. Getting shit face drunk with France and Spain is okay

18. Stripping in the street and running naked around an all girl catholic school, with France and Spain, is /not/ okay!…._oh the good times_

19. You cannot walk around the house naked for obvious reasons_…fuckin' 5 meters, baby puts everyone to shame!_

20. No it's not about your fictional 5 meters_…Oh yeah right! Don't hate West_

21. It is because I _is to cheap _have yet to put up curtains_…a neighbor problem anyways, I've seen /me/ a thousand times._

22. Chatting online as Awesukme with Ifeelutower is okay

23. Meeting scantily clad girls online and scheduling to meet them at my house with Ifeelutower is forbidden_…West is so jealous about me getting' more than him… in his own place._

24. Sleeping over at France's place is okay…_yeah…sleep_

25. In fact, just stay there_….oh screw you to West!_

26. Dying your hair blonde is okay…_Why would I do that?_

27. Wearing blue contacts is okay_…Why would I cover up my awesome eye color_

28. Slicking your hair back is okay_…I would probably look awesome with my hair slicked back but…?_

29. Putting on my uniform and pretending to be an 'awesome version of West' for Halloween is completely, strictly, and utterly forbidden_….Oh yeah! kesese best costume ever!_

30. Stealing syrup from Canada is not allowed…_But, it's so fuckin' awesome_

31. Getting naked and pouring it on your body while sitting in the kitchen sink is also not allowed_…Damn…that was fun_

32. Claiming 'it's good for my pores' will not suffice_…But it is! How else would my skin look so awesome and flawless and sexy and awesome._

33. Watching live porn is okay_ and awesome_

34. Claiming to be taking Italy to the movies, but instead take him to see live porn is not okay_…Mein Gott, scar one person and the world ends._

35. Taking any non consenting person to see live porn with you is not allowed _….Hungary and France consented. So what if England, Canada , Seychelles, Romano…..Ukraine, and Hong Kong thought they were going to see Hunger Games the movie and not the porn…we all had fun, well I had fun._

36. Bringing France and Spain over to watch live porn in my house is alright, if Italy's is in bed asleep.

37. Bringing France and Spain over to watch live porn in my house is not okay, if I am not home

38. Playing with my riding crop is not allowed_…and that bitch hurts_

39. Telling me 'I'm proud you've become a man' while looking through my porn is creepy and not allowed

40. Looking through my porno mags, movies and posters is not allowed…_they suck ass anyways_

41. Selling Hungary pictures of me and Italy in our 'private moments' is forbidden_…how else will I pay rent?_

42. Selling pictures of you is okay but not encouraged_…Fine! They make more than your crappy 'Private moments'_

43. Demanding beer from bars on Sunday is forbidden

44. It doesn't matter that somewhere else on the planet , it's Saturday

45. Hungary is not a man so you should stop trying to kick her 'there'_….are we all sure on that shit?_

46. Selling baby pictures of me on Ebay is forbidden_…fuck, how do you expect rent money west?_

47. Looking for my erogenous zone is also forbidden_…I'm gonna find that bitch one day_

48. Asking Belgium, Canada, France, and Switzerland to come over at the same time is odd, but okay

49. Asking them to make Belgium waffles, maple syrup, crepes and a glass of milk for your breakfast is not okay…_fuck…back to wurst and beer_

50. You have a limit of 5 bad words a day…._oh shit…that's fucking impossible._

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a/n: That might have confused you, if it did then here, Prussia was reading this to himself and commenting on it in italics…I wanted to put this note at the top, but I figured you guys are smart..

#34-Mein Gott-my god

#42 &43- The selling of beer and alcohol on Sundays is not allowed in my country probably is in Germany but, let's just say it isn't.


	3. American Zero

*America*

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><p>America was bored and decide to finally read over the list his boss and all the other nations got together to make years ago. Well actually, he was stuck in five o'clock traffic and needed to keep his mind off of the Wac Donald's burgers he'd been craving and found this sticking out of the dashboard ,if he had his psp it would still be there.<p>

1. You am not allowed to bring super sized Big Macs into Japan -says Japan-

2. or any other nation without permission. -says Everyone else -

3. You're not allowed to eat burgers at the world meeting anymore. -says your boss-

4. Even if England volunteers to bring the snacks for the meeting. -says England-

5. If everyone else is being courteous about England's food then so should you -says Everyone else-

6. You am not allowed to say you can do anything you want because you're America -Says your boss-

7. Especially not when you're in other countries -Says Everyone else-

8. You are not allowed to pass Canada off as your double when you feel like it -Says France-

9. Doing so will lead to Canada being offended by most everyone -Says Canada-

10. Calling Russia a commie is not allowed anymore -Says Russia-

11. Asking Romano to make you a mafia member is not allowed -says Romano-

12. Quoting Scarface while beside Romano is not allowed -says Romano-

13. Saying 'Say hello to my little friend' in Italy is definitely not okay -says Romano and Feliciano-

14. You can say it at the urinal though-Says everyone else-

15. Asking Japan for games before they are released is not allowed -says Japan-

16. Asking Japan for yet to be invented items, like the Play Station 7, is not allowed either -says Japan-

17. Calling China a cool chick is not allowed -Says China-

18. Or Mr. China chicken wang -Says China-

19. Bribing Germany to organize your file cabinet will not work -Says Germany-

20. Especially not with American beer -Says Prussia-

21. Gilbird is not tennis ball -Says Prussia-

22. Or any toy in general -Says Prussia

23. He should not be used for entertain when at meetings, while Prussia is not looking -Says Germany-

24. Hitting on Liechtenstein is wrong -Says Vash-

25. Even though you just asked where she got her ribbon from -Says Lili-

26. Switzerland will shoot you for talking to her -Says Vash-

27. No, You cannot eat Mr. Puffin -Says Iceland-

28. He is not a chicken -Says Norway-

29, And probably doesn't taste like one, so stop assuming -Says Iceland-

30. Being nice to Finland will not get you extra presents at Christmas -Says Finland-

31. Being mean to Sealand may get you less -Says Sealand-

32. Calling Finland Sweden's wife may get you none -Says Finland-

33. Calling Ukraine's assets, huge jugs or knockers, is not allowed -Says Canada, Ukraine, Belarus, and Russia-

34. Also, urging Canada to 'tap that' is not allowed either -Says Canada-

35. Bringing up 'The Boston Tea Party' in front of England is never a good idea -Says your boss-

36. Asking to be a part of Eurovision is stupid and not allowed -Says European nations-

37. You can however, watch Eurovision. -Says European nations-

38. Telling England he has a funny accent is forbidden -Says England-

39. Telling Australia his accent is as funny as England's is forbidden -Says Australia-

40. Kumajiro is not a pony, ridding him is not allowed -Says Canada-

41. Getting England drunk on purpose is not allowed -Says England-

42. No matter how much more fun he is drunk. -Says France-

43. Drunk England tends to fuck up a lot of things -Says Ireland-

44. And in turn becomes your responsibility. -Says your boss-

45. Which you suck at taking responsibility -Says England

46. Hamburg Germany is not made of burgers -Says Prussia-

47. Germany forbids you from going there and licking buildings, again -Says Germany-

48. Jumping off the Empire State Building will not prove you are a hero -Says Canada-

49. It is however, not forbidden, go for it -Says England-

50. Scratch that last one, it is forbidden. -Says Canada-

"Okay so this isn't' important." -Spits old gum into paper and balls it up-

Pulls up next to Wacdonalds

"what do you want japan?"

"I would like a small water." America laughes loudly at this and turns to the magical voice box

"I want Two big wacs, two large fries, three apple pies, two double cheese burges, and two diet chokes"

"Would you loke to supersize that sir?"

"HELL YEAH!"

"America -san what are you doing?".

"Relax man, I got you a diet choke, it will all balance out the other stuff."

What japan said. "Okay America-san"

What Japan was thinking. "Are you insane! Are you trying to kill me. I don't want to die, You must want to die. Who can eat all that. My poor asian stomach! I'm going to be shitting for days."

Okay that Japan's thoughts are OC but how would you know if they really aren't like that?

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	4. Italians party hard stop them

Catsdon'tcry: Yeah I might do that, on the ones that characters give characters.

*Italy*

also the numbers are gone but I swear it's 50 things

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><p>Italy was bored at the world meeting and decided to past the time writing the list of things he's is and isn't allowed to do<p>

I am not to surprise Germany with ravioli for breakfast again

Doing so will result in the early ending of training

And blockage of the restroom for the rest of the afternoon and into the night.

I'm am not allowed to mail France my underwear, or Germany's.

Even if he bribes with pasta

I'm not allowed to bring my white flag to America's NASCAR events.

Though if I do, I am strictly forbidden to join the flag waving in the starters tower.

Calling any female nation a "pretty lady" is okay

Asking for her number right off is not okay

Showing France my photo album of me and pretty ladies is strongly not advised

I am not allowed to call myself a tomato box fairy

England said those are extinct

I am not allowed to take my pictures out of France's house

Unless I pay for them in sex…

Asking France what sex is, is forbidden

I will never get my pictures because I do not know what sex is so I can't give it to France

Pasta eating contests with Romano are forbidden

Pizza eating contests with Romano are also forbidden

Any food eating contest with Romano is forbidden

We will both end up sick causing Spain and Germany to look after us for a while

Which I don't mind, but this causes sexual tensions to rise in Spain and Germany

Asking France what sexual tension is, is forbidden

I am not allowed to call myself the better part of Italy

Romano already claimed that title

I am not allowed to argue for the title

Romano gets angsty and Spain doesn't get any for a while

Which makes Spain upset with me

Looking at Japan's Doujin is forbidden

Suggesting that I should top in them is not allowed

Stealing Germany's underwear is also not allowed

Even though they are soft and comfortable

They are not pillow cases

I cannot hide during training week

Even though I still do nothing when I go and don't hide

Staying with France at his house by myself , is not allowed

Questioning Germany's porn is not allowed

Talking about Germany's porn is not allowed

Interrupting Germany's time alone with his porn is not allowed

Even if the porn with animal noises keeps me up at night

Getting drunk with Prussia is forbidden

Germany cannot handle both of us at once

Me getting drunk and hanging out with France, Prussia, and Spain is now illegal in most nations

If I do hang out in the legal nations, taking pictures to give to Hungary is strictly forbidden

When out Drinking with Romano, I must be supervised closely

Not by Hungary though

Greeting Austria with a kiss in front of Hungary is not encouraged

Pulling my own curl is not advised

Pulling Romano's curl is not advised

Wondering about cutting off my curl is forbidden

Thinking about experimenting by cutting off Romano's curl is Extremely forbidden

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.a/n: thanks for your comments, favs, alerta and reviews readers, you're awesome!...requests are appreciated! Really, I have no idea who to do next…..- that's what she said…


	5. Fries vs ketchup

Germany _apparently _has a few flaws - is shocked- .

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><p>*Germany*<p>

As soon as it touched his hand Germany already doesn't agree with the list Romano gave him, but he reads over it anyways.

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1. You are not allowed to care for North Italy that is my job, back off_…he hugs me first_

2. Touching my brother in general is not allowed….but _he touches me first_

3. I doesn't CARE if he hugged you first…_Damn it_

4. You should stop eating so many damn potatoes _…they're good for you_

5. They make you so very fuckin' ugly…er_…Why am I reading this?_

6. And so fuckin' stupid_…I could be doing something much more interesting_

7. You are too damn muscular_…Jealous_

8. Therefore your dick must be small… _..I think, I really hate this guy_

9. Your dogs are some ugly bastards_…Your mom's an ugly bastard…sorry italy_

10. So you cannot walk them in public places anymore

11. They scare the shit outta everyone_…vomen love guys with dogs dummkof _

12. And so does your fuck ugly face _…That's not vhat your brother says_

13. You drink beer too damn much_…I do need to get 7 more 24 packs_

14. You would quit if you knew the shitty things you did while drunk_…oh shit_

"What did I do?"

"36 left Potato Bastard can you hurry up, I actually have a life to get back to."

15. You have no style at all

15. Your clothes scream 'Fuck! There's nothing that can help me'_…this is the dumbest thing I've ever read…besides Prussia's Christmas lists_

16. You shop from a hobo's cart or worse, GAP_…Vhat is gap?_

17. Your hair style is so fuckin' ugly_…better than having one horny cowlick curl_

18. You don't even try, seriously what do you do get up and go?_…yes, as a matter of fact I do, unlike you I don't spend 4 hrs in a mirror_

19. You smell like a potato eating bastard_…must resist urge, to Shoot Italy's brother_

20. Which is not a flattering smell you bastard_…urge resisting, become very hard_

"Romano…"

"Shut up! Finish or I'll do it."

21. I know you love me but it's unrequited because you're a fashion wreck and are very stupid

22. I'm the best Italy, much better than Germany…_vhat does that have to do with me?_

23. Tomatoes are better than potatoes _…their not even in the same food group!_

24. Wine is better than beer_…vhat, that's it, I'm shooting him_

25. Italy is better than Germany_ ja, right, Italy can't wipe his own ass without me..wait didn't I just read this?_

26. You look so fuckin' stupid with this mustache I'm holding up on your face_ …If I kill him…vill Italy be affected?…hmmm_

27. Stop getting drunk then coming over to my house

28. I don't give a flying fuck that you're wasted

29. Don't cry on my pourch steps and yell 'Mein Italia' into the night, that shit scares my neighbor _…No more Italian bars_

30. I am an Italian god_…und I'm the perfect German_

31. You should obey me and go die_…off to the gas chamber I go then, oh Italian god Romano…Italian idiot_

32. Stop using my brother as an excuse to call my house

33. I doesn't want your ass _….thank Gott_

34. Visiting South Italy is now forbidden

35. I don't give a fuck if you got lost and randomly appeared there

36. I will have my mafia kill your ass …_are you kidding me, I am a big ass German man, your little mafia has nothing on my many German muscles_

37. Wurst and beer is fuckin' disgusting and an idiots meal

38. I hope you choke on it, and die_…likewise_

39. Calling me, Italia, and then grabbing my shoulder is forbidden_…honest mistake_

40. I don't give a shit if it was an honest mistake_…well the, fuck you to._

41. Romano is the better looking Italy, you dumb bastard_…says who your mother?_

42. Stop yelling at the damn world meetings

43. Your voice is too fucking loud, scary and ugly _…Prussia said my voice is beautiful, so I don't care what you think._

44. And some of us can barely understand what the /fuck/ you're saying

45. I don't give a shit how loud the others are, you don't have to be dramatic_..what is your notion of drama based on?_

46. Kicking the chairs back and slamming fists on tables and shit is not needed.

47. Stop influencing Feliciano

48. I hate when he makes sausage for my dinner…._Laziness must rum in the family _

49. No I will not give you Feliciano's baby pictures stop asking_…This one's a lie_

"…I finished, so will you please put down the grenade?"

"Shut up potato bastard, do we have an understanding?" -grenade in mouth-

"…ja, I guess."

"Ve! Romano what's that" -pulls grenade from mouth-

"It's a grenade" the clip falls from his mouth

"…"Germany's mouth was catching flies.

This is when they all should have died, buy thankfully it was an Italian grenade so [BANG]…never mind that was German.

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><p>an: Just read those reviews, T-T I don't deserve the awesomeness that comes from them, however I fully appreciate it and will do my best and thanks for the suggestions, I'll get to work on em' also I counted 15 twice and was to lazy to re write the numbers over...sorry.


	6. Like, Poland can't do these things

"There was an order.. but I forgot it T-T requests will come at random, I also finished most of the other requested. coming soon."

*Poland*

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><p>"Poland…?"<p>

"nomnomnomnom"…He's eating pocky, the universal awesome food.

"Poland!"

"nomnom what nomnom"

"I think it's time we got some ground rules down since we'll be living together from now on."

"Like…nomnomnom…what are 'ground rules' Lithuania nomnom?"

"Just listen please."

"Like, okay."

1 Poland, you are not aloud to eat the food in the fridge labeled with a 'T' that means Tori's . **"I like, totally knew that, I'm not stupid Liet."**

2 If you do, you have to replace it, although asking would be nice **"Why would I do that there's all kinds of stuff labeled T"**

3 Your pony is not aloud in the house. **"…Where else can he go…outside…as if."**

4 Or in my bedroom **"That was a totally accident, I said sorry like so many times, just because he ate your plants doesn't mean he's like evil, or something."**

5 It can stay in the yard though. **"But, it's like to cold out there for pony sometimes!"**

6 but if I step in it's size bread loaf feces again while in the house, it's going to the glue factory **-gasp- "You're like, so heartless Lithuania, pony loves you!"**

7 No I do not want my own pony, stop asking please. **"Totally no cool Liet, you know you want a pony! Like mine"**

8 Waking me up at 4am to go shopping is not okay

9 I don't care about sales that end at 12pm. "**What do you care about? Obviously nothing!**"

10 Pouring a bucket of ice cold water on my crotch while I'm a sleep is not allowed. **"I was totally sleep walking."**

11 Using 'I was sleep walking' is not a good excuse, I know for a fact you don't. **"…Like I was sleep drinking then, you should totally look it up, not my fault I dropped it."**

12 Organizing my closet is not allowed

13 Fall being in and spring being out does not matter to me. **"Like, a fashions nightmare is totally in your closet"**

14 Wearing dresses to the world meetings is not allowed. "**But it's like so comfortable! Liet, you should wear one too!**"

15 Removing all the close from my closet, and replacing them with dresses, is not allowed

16 No I will not wear a mini skirt with lace **"Because you like have no style!"**

17 Or a thong. **"…That was totally a joke right?"**

18 Threatening to enact Warsaw rule for the last cookie in the jar is not allowed. **"I should enact it now."**

19 Threatening to enact Warsaw rule on innocent civilians at the supermarkets is not allowed. **"That's it"**

20 Stop threatening people with Warsaw rule for simple things like 'amount of time in the bathroom' **"Stop reading before I go all solidarno on you "**

21 Threatening Russia is okay, but not advised. "**He's totally scared of me.**"

22 Coming out of the bathroom with your face mask on is not allowed

23 I don't care that your pores need to breath. "**Like I DON'T THINK SO my skin needs to be perfect and flawless Liet, next.**"

24 Coming out of the bathroom naked is not cool. "**God, you act like you've never seen it before.**"

25 Please stop asking me to paint your house neon pink. "**I only ask that, twice a day, would it like, kill you to do it?**"

26 No I will not go get a mani pedi with you. **"That's why your nails totally look like Russia's face, totally grody and jank"**

27 That does not mean my feet are hideous and I'm ashamed **"You should be."**

28 I will /never/ go get a waxing kit with you again, ever! "**Fine, I didn't want to hold your hand anymore anyways.**"

29 Whether or not I shave my pubes is personal! "**You like so don't, do you, come on tell me!**"

30 I will not carry over 20 bags on each arm when we go shopping together. "**Like what about, 19.**"

31 I will not carry all of your bags either. **"Well I won't either."**

32 Using my credit card to buy me things is not allowed "**Can I buy me things then**"

33Nice gesture, but not appreciated "**I'll take that as a total yes!**"

34 Using my credit card to go on a shopping spree is not allowed "**Liet your such a kill joy!**"

35 I know you look good in your new clothes bought with my money but, **"I know, I look totally good to "**

36 Using my credit cards with out permission is not allowed **"What about your cash."**

37 Stay away from my wallet "**How am I supposed to get nice things?**"

38 I do not give massages stop asking. **"Like you give the best ones, this list is jank!"**

39 No I don't need you to scrub my back while I'm bathing

40 Don't use the toilet and talk to me while I'm in the shower. **"There are 3 bathrooms in this house and when I'm near one I just like, go, what do you want from me…an apology for my body functions?"**

41 Stay out of the bathroom when I'm in the bathroom! **"But I like looking at you play with the bubles, you look so happy"**

42 No I'm not looking at porn, I'd just like some me time okay. **"Like…okay that was unnecessary I never even thought that. Except for that one time I was s sure though, who knew you took long craps Leit."**

43 I am not bleaching my hair blonde. "**We could be twins, you should totally do it!**"

44 Or dying it black. **"Black is not your color, someone else must have suggested that, they should totally be shot."**

45 Or deep conditioning it **"But you have so many splits!"**

46 I don't care how many split ends I have "**I know, and it's totally killing me!**"

47 Don't paint my nails sky blue while I'm asleep

48 Don't put ribbons in my hair while I'm asleep

49 You should only come on my room at night when there's a fire, or something. **"What if I have a nightmare again! About your fingers, then I'll need to check them. Remember the one I told you about when pony had the face of Belarus and she bit your fingers off, that was like so scary"**

50 Please stop saying 'like' and 'totally' over and over. **"Like no, those are the best words evah!"**

-agitated- "Poland!"

"Like what?"

"Stop commenting, you were supposed to listen!"

"Like, come on read some more I've got nothing to do for a hour before my appointment with Fernando,…you totally ought to come! He'll totally do a miracle with that hair that you called styled, then we can go shopping! Your treat."

-sighs deeply, drops list and walks off-

"Were are you going?…Okay see you in a…." -Spots dropped wallet of Lithuania, picks up and opens to platinum and gold cards. "…Laterz dude, shopping spree, like, here comes Poland babe, Liet, don't wait up!"

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><p>#20 solidarno- It's what he said in the 1st episode of hetalia, you know because his accent was so thick noone knew what he said it's polish and I didn't take the time to look it up, some people say it's a weapon some say social status blah blhab bhla<p>

reads over comments to make list...ZOMG I have a fans =spazims= -regain composure- "ahem, sorry about the wait, but if you want faster updates, come burn my school to the ground." jk I'll try as hard as I can to update faster.


	7. Chapter 7

Official on hiatus or whatever it's called because I have national exams next next week so I have to study. I know this is not a story so I will write a quick one

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><p>.<p>

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Once upon a time young holy roman empire sat in the grass on a clear summer day, trying to dranw bunnies and flowers as usual when he's seemingly gender confused friend came up to him from nowhere.

"Roman empire, why are you sitting in the grass? Go inside where you will be comfortable."

Holy Roman Empire looked up from his crappy stick figure bunny and grimly said

"Oh hi china, I was trying to learn how to draw so I could get someone to like me a bit more...but my drawings aren't working out quite well… "

"Oh Roman Empire, girls aren't like Pokémon, you can't catch them all. Aru."

Thus with that China walked away from Holy Roman Empire who looked off into the sunset with a upset face.

"What is a Pokémon?"

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><p>Thus there is finally proof of china and HRE knowing each other.<p>

Back to the main problem at hand, I will be back after May the 10 so don't cry *hands tissue in advance* It will be like season 2 when I get back better, longer, funnier. Look forward to them they'll be worth it!

Pub date: 4/24/2012


	8. Chapter, I'm back bitchaz

-if you don't want to read another Germany one, just skip this-

Germany

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><p>Germany's all right just in the hospital. On the bed he decide to make a list of things, just a list of things<p>

1. I cannot leave the world meetings because everyone is annoying

2. Planning to not show up and go walk my dogs is not allowed

3 It should be'they are at least, civilized

4 Hiding beer in the house is useless

5 Prussia is a beer magnet

6 However, switching the labels from beer to soda throws him off

7 Sex lines are also impossible

8 Prussia has ears like a dog

9 And usual tends to want to join

10 Which is so awkward for me

11 Meeting up with Romano by myself in a pizzeria is not allowed

12 Meeting up with Romano anywhere by myself is not advised

13 Something is wrong with that kid, I should just stay away from him

14 Agreeing to meet up with strange nations is dumb in it self

15 Hence, Romano is now at the top of that list, second is Russia

16 Inviting Italy over to my place is a waste of breath

17 He practically lives here now

18 Don't leave Italy alone in the house

19 He tends to forget he's not allowed to walk outside naked like he does in Italy

20 Or feed the birds cooked pasta while naked in my yard

21 Or do any thing naked while in my yard, like mow the law for instance

22 Telling Prussia to move out isn't working

23 I must find out how he gets spare keys to every lock I change

24 So far I have a lead…it's Gilbird

25 Do not invite Austria over and let him bring Hungary

26 She tends to wonder around looking for nonexistent ' sexual evidence'

27 Or fight with Prussia.

28 More the former

29 Russia is an arseloch

30 I must stop him from hitting on my brother

31 Never go shopping with Italy for swimsuits

32 He tends to take my clothes while I change

33 And leave bikini underwear for me to change into

34 Must find a new place to hide porn

35 The roof is no longer safe

36 Italy sunbathes up there, in the nude…who knew

37 Under the floorboard won't work either

38 Gilbert hides his pictures of Hungary and Gilbird's poo under there…at least he's trying

39 Musical battles with Austria are pointless

40 Unlike Austria I don't need to practice every day

41 I have the fingers of a German piano god

42 And I practiced with Beethoven

43 Must get dog food before they attack children, again

44 Or worse, my potato garden.

45 Need to remind Japan not to use my car ever agian

46 I've heard thing about his driving from Italy

47 America, and England

48 Though America's comments were stereotypes

49 Like how we Germans know Americas are fat and obnoxious

50 Must trim pubs…looks like pasta mass down there.

"Ja that will do it for now." Germany looked up from the paper to see his visitors had arrived

"West, what cha writing!" –grabs paper-

"YAY! Germany wrote us a story!" Italy looked over from his hospital bed next to germany

"Ah, German-san and Italy- san I hope you both recover quickly."

"WEST! I am Not! a beer magnet…chick magnet yes.. Beer doesn't run up to me asking for autographs, beer doesn't run up to me wanting to see my awesome five meters…blah blah beer blah blah blah awesome. "

Prussia began to read the list out loud

Germany could feel yet another aliment coming on..

Japan wondered if this could turn into a Doujin scene

and Italy hit the 'call nurse' button, He wanted pasta to eat while Prussia read him Germany's "Story"

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><p>.<p>

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a/n : Hi readers, I missed you all. I was stalling, I needed a beta but I couldn't wait any longer to find one anyways exams are over. Next up Prussia's Christmas list! Because some awesome reviewer would like to see it, and so would I XD _ I had a hungary one to go up before this but I lost in (on paper) So I need to dedo it but it shall be made...eventually


	9. Spain has issues

warning: unbeta'd it's hard to find one D'X and my English sucks

Spain sat in a pizzeria alone with the bill, that Romano refused too help pay and walked away from on account of " the food wasn't worth his money" in his hand. Spain reached into his pocket to get out the required money but instead pulled out another piece of folded paper.

"Aye, my shopping list!, I was looking for that."

Upon opening the paper Spain discovered it was, yes indeed a list but not a grocery list. Instead it was a list of debt yet to be paid.

Sitting with both old debt and current debt in his hands, the Sexy voice in Spain's head began to calculate up the reasons why he was poor, and couldn't afford to buy the bucket that hung from the ceiling and let tomatoes grow from the bottom magically.

"It's like tomatoes from the heavens." Spain said as a dream like sequence took over.

1. to impress Romano by buying him fancy clothes is a waste of money

2. Even if you think they are nice Romano will say "If you were England and clothes were food..."

3. And why the hell is he comparing you to that puta in the first place

4. Giving out free shit is the most stupidest thing you could ever do

5. Stop being so damn nice

6. that's why people think your a pedophile

7. Giving free churros to kids, charge them puta charge!

5. You are on a budget, a tight one now.

8. yes water is important but you need to make an important decision

9. Personally I don't think you need to bathe every day, watering the tomatoes is much more important.

10. If you must provide food for some reason, first ask yourself

11. Why the hell are they eating on my ship? or in your case, in my house?

12. If you can, avoid treating people, to anything

13. our sexy smile should be a enough treat, well I guess with you it's innocent now.

14. Surely your so called allies will invite you over sometimes

15. which really means they're giving you a pass to their fridge, bed, tabs at bars ect

16. or at the least fruit from the fruit bowl

17. Debating on making a pirate ship and fighting England is wrong

18. Convince France to do it

19. once France is defeated, take his land and harvest his wine and woman

20. Scratch all of that, you have no money for an armada right now

21. or hostile take over

22. do not ask the Italy brothers to lend you money for hostile take overs

23. They can actually calculate interest, go figure

24. Prussia is probably stupider than you

25. That's why he has no ship, land, or booty!

26. What happened to all of our booty?

27. Damn booze! the main reason we are broke now...and wars, aye the wars!

We own so many bulls, why?

...bull steaks...sounds yummy right? and we get rid of a few

"But what about the bull run?" slightly coming out of his dream like trance, Spain spoke aloud.

"Bull what?...Sir, it's almost closing time, are you going to pay soon?" Said a waiter.

_Oh yeah, I forgot how much money that brings in, scratch that idea._

"Besides, I love my bull I would never hurt him."

"...Im really not interested in your relations with this Bull fellow, I will be back to collect on the bill sir." The waiter walked away as Spain entered back into his trance.

28. Why are there pictures of us in nothing but an apron floating around?

29. I hope you made good money off of those, I can almost see your pito in that thing

30. stop wearing that tight ass matador costume!

31. my ass cheeks cant breath

32. Why do you keep Romano's baby slave...I mean maid clothes under your mattress?

33. He wasn't even your real son, he was a henchman a bad one

34. plus, watching you occasionally sniff them makes me worry about you

35. When the hell did we start dancing?

36. Salsa is food only!

37. Why did you cut our amazingly long and sexy chocolate locks?

38. No it did not make us look like a lady!

39. Our hair was unisex!

40. when's the last time you sharpened my axe

41. I hate watching you use it to cut grass and wheat down

42. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!

43. Plus, You hold it a weird angle

44. Where is our ship?

45. How can you live near an ocean and have no ship?

46. At least get a row boat.

47. How did we get so wimpy?

48. You used to be a Sexy conquistador !

49. Now your a tomato vendor?

50. Epic Fail!

_I'm sick of our boring, poor, and un-epic life!_

_"_Sir, are you ready to pay?_" _

"I'm not that poor!"

_Yes we are, and we're wimpy but no more!_

"I'm not wimpy either!"

"uhh I can see you're having issues sir, I'll just send you the bill."

"You can take that bill and vete a la chingada!" Alternate Pirate!Spain magically brought out a battle axe from his back pocket and sliced a table in half. Laughing manically the Spaniard began to go on a rampage though the pizzeria killing as many napkins and paper cups as he could afford, the table would rack up a pretty price.

Cowering in a corner the waiter called the police

"Oh! calling for back up? bring it!" Spain slammed his axe into the floor.

_Holy Tomato sauce..._ Romano who had came back to get the name brand jacket he left on the chair looked at the mess the Spaniard made from the entrance. He must be really upset about that bill for him to be in conquistador pirate Spain mode. Romano could stop him if he just payed the bill himself, everything would go back to normal, Spain wouldn't be terrifying, the waiter could go change his pants. Right now he had enough money to bail Spain out and put everything right or go grocery shopping and get that 2 for one pizza deal he planned on doing and his reason for not paying in the first place...

...

...

...

"Fuck that." Then he'd have to pay for the shit Spain assassinated with his axe and right now that wasn't appealing to him. "Sorry boss Spain." Romano turned and began his way to the store

xXxXx Later that night xXxXx

*ring ring*

"Eh...what! it's 3 in the morning!" Romano rolled over in bed.

"Hey Lovi, it's Spain I need you to bring me my salsa dress and a pair of black heels."

"What the hell for!"

"Well it was either pay bail or dance at a bachelor party for my freedom."

"..."

"Also, could you be my dancing partner?"

"Fuck, no."

"Please?"

"how much is bail?"

Spain said an obscene number that cause Romano to curse and shoot up in bed, grab his and Spain's salsa clothes and go to this 'Bachelor party'

"Like hell I'll pay $50 bucks!"

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I said Pru's Christmas list was next but my computer suddenly died, in short I lied...I'm a lair DX...I sorry, I had no back up. but anyways thanks for reading more pointless stuff from CSR ;D whoops how did that five get there so now it's 51 XD


	10. She's watching you

Hello reader, thank you for following me down this road of destruction, that is all. warning: unbeta'd :3

Chapter: hungarian rhapsody...is that even hungarian?

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Hungary was shuffling through her I pod when a lovely Austrian concerto began to play.

"Oh, I love when Roddy plays this for me." She thought as she began to head to his house, and since everyone knows mp4 musical downloads pale in comparison to there live counterparts, she would have Roddy play for her until his poor astrian fingers turned white...er..or maybe blue, anyways.

"Roddy, are you home?" After checking various rooms Hungary went to see if he was in his bedoom. Upon slighlty cracking the door she could see the Austrain man had began to undress in one of the most erotic ways she had ever seen. "Must...surpress... stalking urges!"

Yes, no longer could Hungary bring joy to the many fangirls and fanboys around the world with her un discret pictures of various men or mens doing this and that in their private time, not since they all got together and forced her into a intervension which she was now remembering.

1. You are not allowed to pretend to be a man. _But, I make a sexy man!_

2. Especially not so you can sneek into men only gay bars and take pictures of Finland and Sweden in action

3. Which there is no action in the first place! _Tell that to the pictures._

people up for random sexual incounters, is wrong. _Then...what will I do with my free time?_

5. England and France do not appriciate it

6. Well, actually only England doesn't. _He's lying to himself._

7. No, Germany and Prussia are not a BDSM couple. _ Then Prussia is being abused, badly_

8. and Prussia does top sometimes! _..sometimes? I'm sorry , what you meant to say was, never._

9. but not with his brother! _-rolls eyes-_

10. America and Canada are twin brothers. _But, they have different fathers ?_

11. When they take baths together it means nothing more than the fact that they are getting clean together.

12. They are blushing because the water is very hot sometimes. _Because they make it hott, duh!_

13. Taking inapropriate pictures of unsuspecting nations is wrong. _What about suspecting?_

14. Selling the pictures for large amounts of cash is wrong. _what about medium amounts?_

15. Making them into nation representing postcards is very wrong.

16. Now tourist think England is a cross dresser. _But, he is._

17 . which he's not, he only wore that maid outfit once. _Once...is not the proper plural word for this sentance_

18. and it was an emergency. _What kind of emergency?!_

19. not a sexual one.

20. Sneaking into other male nation houses and setting up spy cameras is wrong. _...I didnt do that...Promise...-finger crossed-_

21. especially not in any nation's teddy bear

22. ...Not that Spain sleeps with one, that was just an example

23. Reverse mirrors, microphones, and no flash cameras are also not allowed to be set up in any nations house. _I would never go so far as to plant those things in houses just to obtain pictures of eye candy..._

24. Even Germany doesn't deserve to be watched that closely

25. He's a changed nation. _As if I would know -nervous laughter in head-_

26. Italy hugs and kisses other men because he's a sensative Italian

27. not a gay boy. _ or european huh?_

28. those pictures of his are missinforming.

29. someone photoshoped tounge action in them. _...That's Possible!? Oh, what I could've done!_

30. Hitting Prussia in the head with your frying pan is wrong. _But it feels so right!_

31. Prussia is already dumb enough and that only kills what little brains cells he has left. _ Oh, he had some left, couldnt tell._

32. Carring any cellular device with a camera on it is okay.

33. Pretending to be texting but instead taking pictures of other nations is wrong. _So, you knew all along, but still you didn't stop hmmm?_

34. Sending those pictures to other girl nations is wrong-er

35. Noone wants innocent lienchtenstien to own pictures of them hugging or, if they just so happend to be for some odd and most likely un reasonable reason, kissing. _Not even if she asked for them herself? She is a growing girl..._

36. No, Japan will not sell you 50% off Doujinshi._ What?! Japan! I thought we talked about this already! I get them for 75% off!_

37. he does not care that you are his top cutomer

38 . or image provider. _He's about to start caring -plans to use frying pan later-_

39. However Japan may sell you 25% off doujinshi, he says talk to him later. _OoooH, later -wink wink, nudge nudge- I understand._

40. The both of you better not be doing something underhanded behind the other nation's backs. _Me and Japan, exchanging Doujin and pictures...NEVER._

41. If you continue to secretly hide in closets and take pictures of us, we _will _hide in your closet and take pictures of you..._And I will lock my closet and set it on fire._

42. Okay, everyone but France would prefer to get a restraining order instead of being a closet creeper. _Must check closets from now on._

43. Norway does not have feelings for Danmark _...BWHAHAHA! Okay okay, who said that?_

44. So, telling iceland 'The history of Norway and Denmark' and adding in any 'sexual tension' between the two.

45. IS WRONG. _I dont' /add/ anything!_

46. Romano is Italy's older twin brother. _Oh, he is? doesnt act like it._

47. Therefore he if he must be subjected to you incest fantasies of the two. _I don't recall ever seeing Italys twin brother...What nation is he?_

48. he Tops. _Never._

49. Austria does not like it when you walk in on him. _That's what he /says/._

50. Please knock sometimes or return his house key. _Never!_

Bonus!

51. No, never will you ever walk in on him and Prussia doing something

52. Again. _That's okay, I got enough pictures from last time to last me a year...but I'll be waiting -wink-_

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you've made it to the end hoorah! Anyways Sorry about that I miss-counted and didn't real feel like re-doing a few parts so I made it bonus -bows- Sorry for my laziness :)


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